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Abscission

by Eva Rose King

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1.
You’re too calm and it’s not right You sip your coffee in the light Of the booth and, oh, the truth is Never easy with You talk quickly about your day But you never have that much to say Besides your papers, besides your major If I were stronger I’d give up But we were not alone We were jobless, futureless We were living off the pity of our folks But yes we were in love And the stars breathed lullabies Through dirty skies for us For us, for us You can’t focus on anything Your mind wanders your eyes don’t see That I’m trying, that I’m dying To make it right with Your head’s buried in your books I try to talk but you don’t look Cause I’m a given, I’m a constant I’ve been obtained so I’m forgot But we were not alone We were jobless, futureless We were living off the pity of our folks But yes we were in love And the moon spoke miracles Through sighed parables for us For us, for us But we were not alone Even when we had nothing We had everything We could ever want and more But yes we were in love And if you ever say otherwise The celestial spheres will forever mourn For us, for us For us, for us
2.
You fall asleep in a blink You don’t think, you just fall And I lie awake trying to space these Tossings and turnings all night long I’m afraid I’m losing it all And I don’t know how much longer I can last Until self destruction has consumed me in full And I’m left cold like the rest Is this what you wanted? To take me all in full To take me as something to mold And are you happy yet? I don’t even recognize what’s left I’ve been pulling out my hair Nervously losing it all And starving myself when I’m hungry Just to succumb after all And I’m scarred head to toe With days I’d rather forget And now my body is just a show Of you and my regrets Is this what you wanted? To take me as your own To take me as something to mold And are you happy yet? I don’t even recognize what’s left Is this what you wanted? To take me all in full To take me as something to mold And are you happy yet? I don’t even recognize what’s left Is this what you wanted? Are you happy yet? Is this what you wanted? I don’t even recognize what’s left
3.
Lose You 03:27
So darling, Darling speaks in roses Darling speaks in lotuses in bloom And darling, Darling hears what he wants to And the rest he assumes But it’s in my genes I’ve learned from the masters to lie and cheat To pickpocket the unsuspecting And I’ll love you to the moon and back But don’t let that distract you Oh, be with me, but don’t be with me Whatever you do Oh, trust in me, but don’t trust in me I will only use you Let me lose you So if Darling could, he would save the world He would catch every falling tree But Papa said pick your battles so carefully Cause I’m a shallow bloodletter I’m a callous storyteller I’m a broken dreamer And I’ll love you to the moon and back But don’t let that distract you Oh, be with me, but don’t be with me Whatever you do Oh, trust in me, but don’t trust in me I will only use you Let me protect you, let me use you
4.
Binds 03:54
So my sister weeps for the morning And I weep at the sight And she dreams of releasing her burden Releasing both the grunt and the light And she lives out west where postmen won’t go She envies my home in the sun She struggles to find the words to say To her husband and son Oh words and binds that stick Around in minds and contracts thick Oh faith that this will work Oh pray to end our search Darling, don’t go Darling, you’re not alone Darling, come home Darling, don’t go She spends her days outside in the cold Remembering promises she’s made She swore she wouldn’t be the one To repeat our parents’ mistakes I visit her when I can I find her in the garden alone Before I leave her husband says to me, “I love her, but take her home” Oh words and binds that stick Around in minds and contracts thick Oh faith that this will work Oh pray to end our search
5.
Mistakes 02:57
So you go and tattoo your skin So everyone knows where you’ve been And you do it in color, so we can see better Your battles and your sins So you go and carve through your home Getting sick from the dust and the mold And you swear that you’re fine, as you drift in and out of time But really you’re just scared and alone But remember when you gave back your heart? Still beating in your hand Oh it was all your fault These mistakes will kill you in the end So you go and quit your part-time job You say money can’t sustain you for long And you do it with a smile, cause you’re smug and because you’re vile Cause you want everyone to cry along So you go walk naked through the snow Cause you’re a goddamn poet and they should know That this hole in your chest, oh it’s real and oh it festers And, oh, you’re so cold But remember when you gave back your heart? Still beating in your hand Oh it was all your fault These mistakes will kill you in the end But remember when you gave back your heart? Still beating in your hand Oh it was all your fault These mistakes will kill you in the end These mistakes will kill you in the end These mistakes will kill you in the end
6.
Fools 03:16
A long time coming but we were blind To rosy cheeks and toothy smiles Skipping school and sipping warmth by the lake Enduring frozen toes just to stay Oh, Baby, I’ve been fool And, Baby, you’ve been one too Oh, I’ve been a fool Oh, you’ve been one too A long time coming but we were deaf To lonely sighs and labored breaths Everything’s a competition with us And I’m tired I’ve had enough Oh, Baby, I’ve been fool And, Baby, you’ve been one too Oh, I’ve been a fool Oh, you’ve been one too A long time coming but now I know That we were just kids needing to grow Two years late but now I’m willing to say That I was a fool for letting you go All the punches all the kicks Jealousy and defensiveness All I know is that I’m happier with You and all our senselessness I’ve been fool And, Baby, you’ve been one too Oh, I’ve been a fool Oh, you’ve been one too We’ve been such fools All the punches all the kicks Jealousy and defensiveness All I know is that I’m happier with You and all our senselessness
7.
Three Months 03:41
She’s lighting candles and nervously folding clothes Packing bags like we don’t know That this is more than just a weekend trip Hands shaky, we lose our grip Hide and seek I’m just searching for longevity Like I was promised like I want to believe But nothing lasts I’ve come to see Liquid courage hides in empty dorms Chicago winters you need something to keep you warm Mistaken limits, you drift away In stuffy rooms you decay Hide and seek I’m just searching for longevity But we’re just breath and we’re just flesh that tends to bleed And nothing lasts I’ve come to see Three months by your side Three months to internalize That in three months we go and live separate lives Three months and then goodbye Three months by your side Three months to internalize That in three months we go and live separate lives Three months and then goodbye Hide and seek I’m just searching for longevity In the arms of those who have to leave But nothing lasts I’ve come to see Hide and seek I’m just searching for longevity But we’re just breath and we’re just flesh that tends to bleed And nothing lasts I’ve come to see
8.
Red, jagged lines on the skin of our youth And they run like rivers through the Earth Thorns and nails that’ll carve deep these trails And leave us bloodied in the dirt Carry on You can’t move forward If you keep nursing all these Bruises and your scars Oh, carry on Wide, gaping lies that seduce us and try to Hallow us down to the core Shivers and fears of policemen and years That have passed but still erode more Carry on You can’t move forward If you keep nursing all our Bruises and our scars Oh, carry on
9.
Tie your shoes, you’ve been a child for too long You pout your lips, kick heels, you cry to your mom But leave your home, the ones that matter will remain And don’t you fret memories do not change Think your thoughts, Baby, I know that you can And for what you believe take a stand And leave your home, the ones that matter will remain And don’t you fret memories do not change
10.
Lady goes to beaches to get tossed around and eaten To get drowned, to get sucked in by the tide Lady goes to Berkeley, hitched a ride to New York City Asks a homeless teen to sleep by her side Lady went to Paris on a whim, didn’t tell her parents Live out of dumpsters and off of new friends In a group she’s quiet, one on one she’s a riot She spills memories and proverbs from the Seine But skin and bones She knows, she knows Skin and bones She goes, she goes Raised on a farm in Jersey she was out of there by thirteen Left her brothers, left her sisters, left the church Her mother cried in curlers, Lady just ignored her So she lit and fumed upon the porch Lady won’t look back, she won’t stumble or crack Beneath the pressures of the norm Cause Lady is a light and she’ll shine and she’ll fight Despite blisters and burns Skin and bones She knows, she knows Skin and bones She goes, she goes Skin and bones She knows, she knows Skin and bones She goes, she goes

about

Written through and about Santa Ana winds, Chicago snow storms, and sandy Maryland afternoons.

This album is dedicated to Bryn Watkins.

Track art taken by Eva Kinnebrew with the Stone Edge Telescope.

credits

released December 28, 2014

Lyrics, composition, recording, mixing, vocals and all instrumentals by Eva Kinnebrew.

Cover photograph by Bryn Watkins.

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Eva Rose King Fort Collins, Colorado

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